Abuse is a terrible thing which can happen in so many ways and is so devastating. I was reminded of this as I watched Bobby Brown and his wife Alicia talk about the late Bobbi Kristina on The Real. They are creating a charity in honour of Bobbi Kristina, for abused women and something Bobby Brown said really touched me. He said ‘abuse, any kind, stops you from loving yourself’. I had planned to write about love this week and hearing that statement changed my angle.
There are many different types of abuse; emotional, sexual, financial (yep that’s right), physical, verbal, and online. Abuse can happen to anyone; children, men, women, elderly and disabled. The statistics are shocking. 1 in 20 children has experienced sexual abuse and 1 in 14 have been physically abused. 1 on 4 women and 1 in 6 men have experienced domestic violence. I could go on! What all forms of abuse have in common is exactly what Bobby Brown said ‘they stop you from loving yourself’. How do I know? Because I’ve been there and I know from my own experience abuse stopped me from loving myself and even made me scared to love others.
If love was a person then abuse would be a murderer. Abuse kills love. It firstly prevents you from being able to love yourself because you’re made to feel like something is wrong with you. Then it can also hinder you from loving others because you’re afraid. I was afraid that someone who was supposed to love me would hurt me again. All abuse affects you emotionally and therefore damages the way you see yourself, robbing you of your confidence and causing you to devalue yourself. The important thing to note about abuse is, it’s wrong! It’s always wrong! And, it’s never the fault of the person who has been abused.
Although abuse can have seriously damaging effects, it’s possible to rebuild yourself. If you felt like I did, broken, then it’s possible to become whole. It is for this reason that I created the Love the Lady in the Mirror program. I know what it’s like to look in the mirror and hate everything you see. I know what it’s like to seem alright and confident to everyone but inside to feel unworthy and doubt yourself. Love the Lady in the Mirror is for survivors of abuse who like me have had enough of the negativity they have inside. It’s for those who know life can be lived differently. For those who want a life filled with more than insecurity and inferiority. I spent years working on myself and my motivation was I wanted a family home filled with love. I didn’t want to be the reason that love wasn’t in the air in my house, so I worked really hard to learn to do what had become unnatural…to love myself. This was so I could love and not simply judge and criticise others. And now I help others to love themselves too. So what’s your motivation?
It’s not love that has failed, it’s people. So don’t fail on loving yourself. If you want to learn to love yourself then check out the Love the Lady in the Mirror program by clicking here.
I hope you find love for yourself within yourself.
Jasmine MJ Mbye – The Starriness Specialist, Speaker, Trainer, Coach and Author.
Creating Personal development programs to enable each women to love who she is and shine like star.
Check out the Love the Lady in the Mirror program.
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