Step 3 Self-regard
As a word, self-regard suggests that if you have high or low regard, you know that you bring it up or down. It’s all about an evaluation or appraisal of your worth.
You may have heard it called self-esteem or self-worth and they are the same thing. Self-regard is how much value you place upon yourself. Once again, this tends to be heavily influenced by our childhood.
If your parents or caregivers valued you, then you were likely to value yourself. If they didn’t make you feel valuable as a person in your right, then you are not likely to want to be yourself and you may be very pretentious and false. Whether this is something that you portray consciously or unconsciously this may be because you think you don’t have any worth.
Life is an experience
You go through life experiences almost detached from who you are. You may shut down and separate from past emotions. As an adult, you forgot to change because of a previous experience and now you find that you need to work on this.
You may have tried something and completely messed up. You know it failed. I don’t believe people fail; I think things fail. You only fail if you give up. Your self-regard is now really low, so you have a sense of worthlessness. It can be evident when making decisions while wanting to please others as you value other people’s opinions a lot. If this is evident then, that is a sign that you tend to suffer from lower self-regard.
Successfulness with low self-regard is possible. Many celebrities come across as confident and fruitful but lack self-regard. Success isn’t true if you lack self-regard. If you value you, you enjoy your success. If you don’t, then success can feel empty.
See the bigger picture
This step is highly important and I help you with self-regard. To do this, you need to belong to something bigger. By being part of something bigger, it will help you to get a perspective. Those who lack self-regard believe that when they walk into the room and conversations stop those other people are talking about you.
Although you have low self-regard, you think that the world revolves around you and therefore when someone laughs you believe that they are laughing at you. There’s a level of self-importance there but the root is low self-regard.
Belonging to something bigger allows you to get a better perspective of yourself. It is fundamental to finding your purpose. Purpose gives you value. If you have nothing to do each day, then you will find that your self-regard will suffer.
Particular relationships can destroy a healthy self-regard. Positive relationships are also critical as they impact how we feel as people tend to give us feedback.
If you hear continuous negative feedback, then it will take its toll on you. Alternatively, if you hear positive feedback then you may have messed up a little but it’s balanced and that has a real impact on you.
Every day can be the best day of your life
To develop self-regard what I encourage you to do now before going to bed is to review your day. I want you to think back on some of the things that you did well and also on the mistakes; you might have made. Commit to this daily either first thing or just before bed.
Acknowledge your mistakes first and consider how to improve them. Next, consider the positives and praise yourself. Every so often, reward yourself. This will raise the value that you have for yourself and will help you to feel good about yourself.
Self-concept is thoughts about you. Self-regard is your feelings about you.
Jasmine Mbye – The Shine Out Trainer.
Specialising in women’s empowerment. Empowering ambitious women to excel.
A challenging childhood left Jasmine ineffective and blocking her own success. Embarking on and successfully completing a journey to become her best, resulted in Jasmine creating the Shine Out Method.
Accelerating your journey to true success with the real confidence and right balance you desire so you go from blending and stressing to standing out and shining.
Check out the Shine Out programme.
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