Confidence To Be You
How often are you authentic?
Being confident means being yourself and if you are lacking in confidence then this may be difficult for you to achieve.
You may lack confidence but to show the real you and then it’s is easy to put on a show but are you really achieving the end results that you truly want? The facade may be obvious where you are being what others want you to be, so you change depending on the environment or crowd. Or it may be more subtle, where you are what you think you ought to be. Maybe you hide your humour because you don’t believe a professional should be funny or that a woman can be taken seriously if she is friendly. For some a lack of confidence may manifest in a ‘split personality’, a work persona and one outside of work.
There are some parts of ourselves we play down or play up when at work, which can be quite normal. However, being a very different person in a major area of our life, like work, is an indicator that something isn’t quite right and a lack of confidence may be at the root. I was never quite fake but I was what I thought I should be rather than just relaxing and being myself. The greatest sense of peace and relief came when I decided to just be me. Confidence allows you to do and have that.
Is there an authenticity paradox?
If you lack confidence, then you are often scared to admit that you need help or that you are weak in a particular area. You may try to cover over anything that may expose you. This impacts your ability to achieve. A lack of confidence means that you will draw back from opportunities and the chance to grow.
The authenticity paradox by Herminia Ibarra suggests that we can be too authentic, which can have negative consequences. Our admission of weakness in leadership could lead to being undermined. However, I take the view in line with emotional intelligence. We cannot be too authentic as authenticity doesn’t have to mean full disclosure. It’s about being true to ourselves whilst being effective, meaning to consider the impact of how we manifest our authenticity.
If you are confident and you say “You know what this is who I am and this is what I believe, I might fall, but I recognise that falling is part of the process and there will be something to learn”. There is not one person on this earth who ever walked on their first try. Every baby had to try and keep on trying and that’s the reason why we are all walking around today. Things fail, people don’t. That is unless they completely quit.
Don’t be a sheep
You may believe that your true self will not fit in, that you will stand out from the norm and if you do so what! In fact, great because you are unique and you deserve to be authentic and proud of who you are.
Tackling your fears head on is no easy feat but focusing on the desired outcome and your confidence boost will be tenfold.
Being YOU is important. It’s the only thing you’re guaranteed to excel at. No one else will be as good at being you as you. Self-love is quite interesting because loving yourself has often been thought about as being egotistical, narcissistic and why would anyone love themselves?
Release your thoughts, emotions and feelings even though it may be difficult. Change how you perceive yourself and how you project yourself to others. Build upon your self-communication process and look at how you present yourself – now let the real you, the authentic you SHINE OUT. With this newfound confidence, you will be on the first step to achieving a happier, more authentic and confident life.
Jasmine Mbye – The Shine Out Trainer
Specialising in women’s empowerment. Empowering each ambitious women to excel.
A challenging childhood left Jasmine ineffective and blocking her own success.
Embarking on and successfully completing a journey to become her best, resulted in Jasmine creating the Shine Out Method.
Accelerating your journey to true success with real confidence and the right balance you desire so you go from blending and stressing to standing out and shining.
Check out the Shine Out programme.
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