It’s your confidence more than competence

Step 4 Self-confidence

How much YOU believe in your skills and abilities is essential

Confidence is one of those things that we hear about all of the time; it’s one of those things that women often want to improve. It is essential to improve your self-confidence because it makes you believe in your skills and abilities.


Confidence that is shown will have more impact on your progression rather than on your competence

In a nutshell, it is self-belief. We tend to get this attitude from our parents, friends and society. You judge yourself based on past experiences.

When I talk about self-confidence, I am referring to a belief that in life you are well equipped. You have got the skills and abilities to handle life and whatever life throws at you. People that are anxious are depressed; they feel they don’t have the ability or skills to deal with life, and it weighs them down.

If you are confident in who you are, you will believe that you have what it takes. The confident person will say “You know what, I’m not very good here, I have the confidence to say that I need to work on my flaws or that I need some help”.

We learn through trying

If you lack confidence, then you are often scared to admit that you need help or that you are no good. You may try to cover over anything that may expose you. This impacts your ability to achieve. A lack of confidence means that you will draw back from opportunities and the chance to grow.

However, if you are confident and you say “You know what, I might fall, but I recognise that falling is part of the process”. There is not one person on this earth who ever walked on the first try.   Every baby had to try and keep on trying.


Why do we stop that mentality?

Why do we get into adulthood and believe that if we don’t achieve something the first or second time that we just can’t do it? It is a debilitating mind-set.

Time to grow

When you have confidence, you allow yourself to develop, and you allow yourself to learn and grow. You recognise that challenges are your friend.


I recently went to a seminar and overheard them saying “feedback is the breakfast of champions”. When you are confident, you give yourself the opportunity to receive feedback and because you recognise this feedback you then learn to grow.

Challenge yourself

Stretch a little more and come out of your comfort zone. That’s when you will see great things happen, and you will see reality.


Self-confidence is critical to YOU achieving. My challenge to you is to write down one thing that you have wanted to do for some time. Pick a challenge but know that you can achieve this. Now set yourself a deadline.

As you grow, you will also develop confidence. You may have received bad feedback in the past, but that person may have been wrong. When you are confident, you will think on what that person may have said but they may not be right so I need to try for myself and see. You are okay with your thoughts now, and that is confidence.

Jasmine Mbye – The Shine Out Trainer.
Specialising in women’s empowerment. Empowering ambitious women to excel.
A challenging childhood left Jasmine ineffective and blocking her own success. Embarking on and successfully completing a journey to become her best, resulted in Jasmine creating the Shine Out Method.
Accelerating your journey to true success with the real confidence and right balance you desire so you go from blending and stressing to standing out and shining.
Check out the Shine Out programme.
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