You may have been expecting “mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” As that’s the question asked by the Evil Queen in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. However, that’s not exactly what I want is to talk about today, as I don’t think we ask who’s the most beautiful because we don’t have talking mirrors, (technology hasn’t created that yet, I don’t think anyway?). What I do know is that we look in the mirror and we ask ourselves questions so let’s explore that.
I’ve been thinking about us ladies, the mirror and the questions we ask ourselves. Looking in the mirror is something we all probably do several times a day, more if we consider looking at our reflection which can be seen in most glass. I want to focus on the mirror though as it’s a very significant thing. You see the mirror shows our physical reflection but what we see is all in the mind.
The mind is powerful beyond measure. I mean, just think of all the things that exist today that were difficult to conceive over 100 years ago. They came about because of the mind. That’s why I love Napoleon Hill’s book Think and Grow Rich. It illustrates that everything begins in the mind, even riches and wealth. They way we see ourselves and the world around us, comes out of our amazing minds. So when we look in the mirror there is the physical reflection but this is mixed with our mental perception. So we don’t just see what we look like, we see who we believe we are. Take a look at the picture below. It makes me laugh but the sad side is, I think it’s true for far too many of us women, (and unfortunately men).
Some years ago I would avoid looking in the mirror because I hated what I saw. Yet, the same face looks back at me today and I’m happy with it. So what has changed? It’s not reflection, it’s the perception. It’s the questions. I no longer look and ask; what’s wrong with me? Why can’t my skin be clearer? When will I look normal?…Sometimes the questions we ask ourselves, are a reflection of the questions others ask us. As a self-conscious teenager struggling with mild acne I was once asked by someone close to me, ‘have you looked in the mirror and seen how disgusting you look?’ Even, if I didn’t struggle with my self-esteem and self-image before you can bet I did after that. You might ask yourself different questions but if they’re similar in nature, they’ll have the effect of making you feel bad about yourself. So what are the questions you ask yourself in your mirror? Questions are powerful, so be careful what you ask yourself because you’ll answer.
Sometimes it’s the statements we make about ourselves in front of the mirror that can be soul destroying. I remember saying things like, ‘I’d be pretty if I wasn’t spotty with all these blemishes’ I had decided I couldn’t be attractive if I had spots and blemishes. The thing is I still get spots and blemishes sometimes! However, I’ve just decided not to judge myself so harshly. Also, I use Elemis products now so my skin has improved considerably. Are you making statements similar to the one I mentioned above? If so, that’s a sign you struggle to accept who accept yourself as I did. It’s an uncomfortable place to be.
Going back to the Evil Queen in Snow White. If I had to choose between her question and the ones I used to ask myself, I’d go with hers because at least she’s not putting herself down. She was conceited which is a horrible quality, wanting to be the most beautiful. However, I suspect that actually comes from a lack of true self-esteem. When you can embrace your own reflection for all it’s glory and imperfections, you’re comfortable with you there’s no need for competition. You can also celebrate others beauty. That’s the place I’ve moved to and I ensure to keep myself at. It’s also where I enable other women to get to.
I realised something, if I had loved and accepted myself all those years ago, when I was asked if I had seen how disgusting I look, it would have stung coming from someone I love, but it wouldn’t have crushed and devastated me. What we see, the questions we ask or statements we make about our self are far more meaningful to us than what others say. The real issue is, when you feel bad about yourself and others agree it takes you down further. Yet when you feel good about you and your reflection, if others agree great, but if not, you understand you’re not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s alright.
In conclusion, the issue isn’t asking questions, it’s asking the wrong questions when looking in the mirror. If you woke up in the morning and looked in the mirror and asked ‘what’s a great woman like me going to wear today?’ Or made a statement such as ‘I’m the best I can be and I am going to keep getting better,’ you’d feel good. Ask questions and make statements to enable and empower you.
If you struggle with these kinds of issues, get in touch. And share this blog so other women can be encouraged and they can get touch too. Let me know your mirror questions and statements. Join me on the Love the Lady in the Mirror FREE webinar where I will share with you how to move from that place of having negative thoughts and feelings about yourself to where you love and embrace who you are. Sign up now and let’s start to move forward.
As always, I love to hear your views.
Until next time take care.
Jasmine MJ Mbye – The Starriness Specialist, Speaker, Trainer, Coach and Author.
Creating Personal development programs to enable each women to love who she is and shine like star.
Check out the Love the Lady in the Mirror program.
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